What Surprises Me Most About How Locals See Me.
I prepared for the hard version. Nobody warned me about the other one.
When you move to a new country, you pack your expectations along with everything else. Mine were pretty standard: work hard, keep your head down, prove yourself quietly, and hope that eventually people stop noticing you are not from here.
I had prepared thoroughly for the hard version of this story. The suspicious looks. The extra effort to be taken seriously. The feeling of always being slightly behind in a joke everyone else already got. I knew that was coming. I had the luggage for it.
What I did not pack for was the other thing.
WHAT I EXPECTED VS. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED
😬 EXPECTED - To be tolerated. Politely invisible. The foreigner who does a decent job and nobody mentions.
😳 WHAT HAPPENED - To be introduced — repeatedly, to suppliers, contacts, anyone in the room — as "Jessica, our marketing guru. Came here right after high school and worked her way up."
That last part is a direct quote from my boss. I have heard him say it more times than I can count. Every time, I do a very controlled version of not knowing where to look. Because I thought I would have to fight to be seen as more than a foreigner. And instead, being a foreigner became part of the story he told about me — with pride. Like it was the interesting part. Like it was the point.
I did not see that coming. Not even a little.
I always thought I'd have to work hard to prove myself in spite of being foreign. I never considered that someone might celebrate the work precisely because of it.
THE THING I ACTUALLY LEARNED FROM THIS
If you are somewhere and the locals are consistently not on your side, it might not be you. It might be the place. Not every environment is built for everyone — and the right one, when you find it, tends to make itself known in ways you were not expecting. Like your boss introducing you as a marketing guru to a supplier while you are just trying to get through a Wednesday.
This is not the story I thought I was living when I arrived. I thought I was living the one about grinding quietly until you earn your place. And somewhere along the way, without announcing itself, it became a different one entirely. The kind where your boss introduces you as a marketing guru to a supplier while you are just trying to get through a Wednesday and you have to do the controlled version of not knowing where to look.
I have been doing that controlled look for years now. Still not great at it.
If you are somewhere and the locals are not on your side — it might not be you. It might just be the wrong place. The right one tends to surprise you. Usually on a Wednesday. Usually when you least expect it.
Still doing the controlled look-away,
Jessica Gabrielzyk
✦ ON BELONGING · AND THE PLACES THAT MAKE IT FEEL POSSIBLE ✦
