What Good Intentions Do Not Buy You.

I came across an Instagram video by Andrew Reynolds recently and he said something that stopped me.

"I'm absolutely cool with a Black man assuming I'm a racist piece of shit, if that keeps them safe. Because until I prove otherwise, that assumption keeps them from harm. And if I know or work as hard as I can to not be a racist piece of shit, then that assumption doesn't hurt me while it protects them. And that is an easy trade for me."

Watch the original video here.

I watched it too many times because that is exactly what I have been trying to say for years without knowing how to say it.

Here is some context about me that matters for this post.

I am a white Brazilian woman who has spent years being friends with people from religious backgrounds different from mine, from cultures different from mine, from communities that have very good historical reasons to be cautious about someone who looks like me walking toward them with a big smile.

And some of them, at least at first, were not particularly interested in my big smile.

I was not offended then and I am not offended now thinking about it, because when I look at the world honestly, at what has happened historically between people who look like me and people who look like them, at what is happening right now, the skepticism is not irrational or unfair. It is a reasonable response to a world that has given people good reasons to be careful.

So I kept acting with respect and consistency. Showing up to the same places. Being the same person. Not pushing for closeness that was not offered and not performing warmth to make myself feel better. Just letting time and behaviour do what words about good intentions cannot.

Not because I expected anything back. Because the alternative is making my comfort more important than someone else's safety, and I am not interested in that trade.

What Andrew Reynolds Named

Good intentions are not the same as good impact, and I think that distinction is what his video is really about.

What he described is the inherited scorecard running on him and choosing to let it run rather than being offended by it. The scorecard says: person who looks like you has historically meant danger. The reasonable response to that is caution. And if you are genuinely not dangerous, the caution costs you nothing while it protects the person who has good reasons to use it.

Most people who consider themselves good spend enormous energy being hurt that someone did not immediately trust them. But Andrew Reynolds is saying the trust is not the point. The safety is the point. And if your goodness is real it will show up over time without requiring the other person to drop their guard first.

Good intentions do not entitle me to trust. Showing up does not entitle me to it either. What I can do is keep trying to act according to my values without making someone else's response the measure of whether that effort matters.

The trade is worth it because someone's safety matters, whether or not I ever receive anything in return.

Where This Connects

About five years ago a friend told me she could not rent an apartment because she was Black. My first quiet thought was: what does that have to do with renting an apartment?

That confusion was the inherited scorecard running on me. Not malice. Not hostility. Just the specific comfort of someone who had never had to think about it because the world never forced her to.

We all carry assumptions, but we do not all bear their consequences equally. My friend described a barrier she attributed to racial discrimination. I had to confront how easily I had assumed the process was neutral. Those experiences were not equivalent. It ran on my friend in a way that cost her a home.

The scorecard runs on all of us, in different directions, for different reasons, with different consequences. What I choose to do with it when it runs on me is the only part I can control.

Andrew Reynolds gave me the clearest answer I have heard for that.

It is an easy trade.

I am continuing to explore the inherited scorecard through the Marked Research Series, a public research project connected to a novel I am building about identity, belonging, and the systems that decide who gets to exist inside them. If you have experienced a moment when someone else's assumptions shaped how you were treated, or when you realised your own assumptions had shaped how you treated someone else, I would like to hear about it. Leave a comment or send me a private message. I read every word. 💛

Jessica Gabrielzyk