Here is a random thought.

I find it funny every time I explain to a new author that Parenting Unpacked went through five versions before I found the one. Five versions, not five edits. Different structures, different voices, different shapes, different attempts at figuring out what the book actually was before I could write it properly.

Every time I tell someone that, they look at me like I have said something either very reassuring or very alarming. Sometimes both.

I tried to explain the feeling yesterday with an analogy. And I need to be honest with you: it did not land the way I intended.

I told them: I used to be very much a dress person in Australia. I had so many beautiful ones. Dresses for everything. Dresses were my whole personality. And then yesterday I tried one on and something felt wrong and I realised I am more of a pants person now.

Me in Australia convinced I'm the last biscuit in the pack… or something like that. It makes a lot more sense in Portuguese.

They nodded politely. I am not sure they understood what I was trying to say about book drafts.

But here is the thing. It really bothered me. The dress situation. Not the book drafts, those I have made peace with. The dress. I stood there in it and felt like I was wearing someone else’s idea of who I am. Which is, now that I think about it, exactly what the first four versions of the book felt like. Technically fine but not quite right. Not quite mine yet.

The fifth version was the pants. Comfortable. Correct. Mine.

I guess I just needed to tell someone.

Do you do this? Find the analogy that makes complete sense in your head and then watch it land slightly sideways in a real conversation? Or discover something about yourself that has nothing to do with what you were talking about and feel compelled to report it anyway?

Just me?

Jessica Gabrielzyk

P.S. I am keeping the dresses. I am not ready to make any permanent decisions about this.