Embracing Self-Doubt and Being Kind to Yourself

Jul 23

Hey there, fellow moms and moms-to-be! Today, I want to chat about something important—self-doubt. Yep, that sneaky little voice that often creeps in during big life changes like pregnancy and motherhood. I’ve definitely had my fair share of self-doubt, especially when my daughter was born. Let’s dive into my story and some tips on how to be kinder to yourself along this beautiful journey.

The Struggle with Self-Doubt

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was over the moon with joy, but also flooded with doubts. Am I ready for this? Will I be a good mom? These questions were on repeat in my head. As my belly grew, so did my doubts.

The real kicker came when my daughter was born. Holding her for the first time was magical, but also a reality check. I constantly worried if I was doing things right. Was I feeding her properly? Responding to her cries correctly? Every moment felt like a test, and I wasn’t sure I was passing.

Being Kind to Myself

Here’s the thing: self-doubt is totally normal. It’s okay to feel unsure and overwhelmed. What’s important is how we handle these feelings and learn to be kind to ourselves. Here’s what helped me:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize and accept your self-doubt. Ignoring it won’t make it disappear. Embrace it as part of your journey.

2. Seek Support: Connect with other moms, join support groups, and talk to friends who understand. Sharing your worries and hearing “I’ve been there too” is incredibly comforting.

3. Celebrate Small Wins: Focus on small victories. Did your baby smile today? Did you manage to eat breakfast? Celebrate these moments because they’re big wins in disguise.

4. Be Patient with Yourself: Motherhood is a learning curve. Allow yourself the grace to make mistakes and learn from them.

5. Professional Help: If self-doubt feels overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can offer tools and perspectives to manage these feelings. Daniele Ribeiro (Portuguese) and Luana Koucher (Portuguese, English and Spanish) are my go to psychologists!

Stories from Other Mothers

I’ve had the pleasure of hearing many stories from mothers who’ve been through similar experiences. Their journeys are filled with ups and downs, and knowing others have faced and overcome the same doubts can make you feel less alone.

A Note to Fellow Moms

To all the moms out there wrestling with self-doubt, know you’re not alone. It’s a part of this crazy, beautiful journey. Be kind to yourself, reach out for support, and celebrate the little victories. You’re doing an amazing job, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

As I continue this journey, these practices have been my lifeline. They’ve helped me move past self-doubt and embrace the chaos of raising my daughter.

Join the Conversation

How do you handle self-doubt as a parent? Share your tips and experiences in the comments below. Let’s support each other on this journey.

For more practical advice and personal stories on navigating pregnancy and motherhood abroad, check out my book “Maternity Abroad,” coming this fall! It’s filled with insights from expat mothers around the world and expert advice to help you feel supported no matter where you are. Stay tuned for more updates!

Maternity and PregnancyTips

Jessica Gabrielzyk

Jessica Gabrielzyk is a Brazilian writer living in Switzerland. She moved there with her husband and daughter, who was three months old at the time and had strong opinions about the whole thing even then.

She writes about change.

The visible kind and the kind that happens inside a person, while everything on the outside looks fine.

Her first book, Maternity Abroad, explored what it means to become a mother far from the system you trusted. It has reached readers in more than fifteen countries across five continents. Parenting Unpacked, her second book, follows the experience of parenting through major life disruption, whether that's an international move, a career loss, a new baby, or a life that simply stops responding the way it used to. My First American Coloring Book was created to help toddlers engage with daily life in the United States through play and familiar imagery.

She is a member of SIETAR, the Society for Intercultural Education, Training and Research, and the International Academy of Brazilian Literature.

She writes for the parent who is still inside it, getting through the day, and wondering somewhere underneath all of it who they are becoming.

When she is not writing, she is walking forty minutes uphill with a stroller, telling herself the exercise is the point.